5 Ways Overthinking Blocks Your Fun
(And how to actually enjoy the vibe.)
Getting stuck in your head?
Ever been at an event, surrounded by people, but felt like you were watching it all from the sidelines? You’re technically present, but your mind’s running a marathon: What do I say? Am I coming off weird? Is everyone else having more fun than me?
When you’re stuck in your head, you’re not really in the room—you’re in your own personal “analysis booth,” missing out on the actual vibe.
Overthinking promises to keep you safe, but it mostly keeps you from joining in, laughing out loud, or just letting yourself be a little messy and real.
Let’s break down how overthinking steals your joy:
Choosing protection over connection: Your brain thinks it’s prepping you for rejection, but really it’s rehearsing what you’re afraid of instead of what you actually want. Try picturing the moment going well—including how you’d handle a curveball if it came up.
Making everything a performance: If you’re busy “checking” if you’re doing it right, you can’t feel if it feels right. What if you aimed to be the most interested person in the room, not the most interesting?
Mind-reading (and missing the party): Looking for signs of rejection before anything even happens is like leaving before you even arrive. What if you assumed everyone already liked you? (It doesn’t have to be true—it just helps you show up.)
Forgetting you have a body: Overthinking pulls all your energy into your head. You get stiff, robotic, “in your head.” Tune into your senses: notice what you feel, see, hear, smell, or taste. Get a little physical to get present.
Waiting for the perfect moment: There is no perfect moment, just this moment. Perfectionism is a wall between you and actual pleasure. Choose “clunky and real” over “anxious and stuck.”
The best version of you is the one that’s actually there.
Stop watching. Start living (and enjoying it!). Follow the desire that got you in the room in the first place. You don’t need to perform, predict, or prove anything. Just be in the moment—even if it’s a little awkward or clunky at first. That’s where the real chemistry begins, because you’re allowing yourself to be seen.
Here’s your challenge for the week:
Next time you catch yourself overthinking at an event or in a group, pause. Notice what’s happening in your body. Try one small act—make eye contact, ask a question, or just let yourself laugh at something silly. Let the moment be “good enough.” It may be simple, but it isn’t always easy. Give it a try.
All the best,
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